August 2009

After a pleasant day out shopping with my sister, we decided to have lunch at a Big Chain Burger joint. We were seated mere feet away from the restrooms (this is key). We ordered our food and began to enjoy. About half way through, I heard a violent coughing begin at a table behind me. At the same time, my sister who was facing that direction turned completely gray, promptly dropped her burger and declared she was done. I asked her what was wrong as I turned in my chair, she grabbed my arm and said DON’T. Apparently, a girl who was about 14-15 years old, began to cough so hard she was THROWING UP all over herself and the table. Her family (Mother and Aunt) quickly abandoned their seats in the booth and just stood and watched her. She had pauses long enough to make her way to the bathroom, but didn’t bother to move, resulting in an even larger mess for the poor wait staff to clean up. During the entire episode, she whined about it coming out her nose.

After she was all done, the mother went out to the car, retrieved a shirt that had been purchased that day and sent the daughter to change in the restroom. The girl’s complaint? “I don’t wanna wear that! It hasn’t been washed yet!” Honestly! One would think that by 14 years old, one would know to at least attempt to make it to the restroom when such things happen. We asked for the bill and left a huge tip for the waitress, knowing she would be one of the people who had to clean up and haven’t eaten there since.

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This was a good ten years ago, but I remember it well.

Up front, I want to say that I tip based on service. Give me great service, you get more than 20%. Lesser service, and the percentage goes down. Only one time have I left no tip – and this is why.

Me and two friends go to this Sports Bar/Nightclub that is really popular. We’re not into the Nightclub thing (which gets hopping at 11). We arrive around 6 for dinner, while they are not busy.

We sit at the bar. Order. Eat. Have a couple beers. Good service at this point. Then ask for our check.

Here’s where the service went downhill. The bartender had a few friends drop by – they are not eating or drinking… just standing there talking to her. We ask for our check. “Kimmie” says “I’ll get to you in a few minutes, I’m talking to my friends.” Mistake #1.

We wait. No check. She’s still talking to her friends.

Our third party has met some guy. The other two of us go and start playing Foosball. We are in view of the bar, and Kimmie is STILL talking to her friends.

We play a game… then another… then another… you get the idea…

More than 30 MINUTES after we asked for our check, our third party comes up to us: “Kimmie wants to know when you are going to pay her.”

I approach Kimmie and politely ask for the check… she gives me an attitude “I thought you’d never pay!” Mistake #2.

I pay. No tip.

She then has the gall to ask where her tip is!!!!! What?

I smile and tell her: “We asked for our check more than 30 minutes ago, you said you were too busy talking to your friends. Your tip went into the Foosball table we have been playing since then…”

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