Hey Dev,
This happened a few years ago but it still bothers me to think about it. My wife and I attended a family wedding out of town. After a long afternoon, 11 relatives wanted to go out to dinner. We called a restaurant near our motel (chain, not pricey, not fast food.) They told us they could seat us at 7:30 and we made the reservation.
The walk over took 15 minutes and we were there by 7:20, aware we might have to wait a bit past the promised time. The hostess identified the tables we’d be sitting at. One of them was being cleared, and the other had a party of five who had just paid their bill. We expected to to be seated shortly. Except that the other party decided to stay and talk. And talk. And talk some more. Even though we were waiting, even though other later arrivals had a 45 to 60 minute wait, the restaurant wouldn’t ask the loiterers to move. The restaurant couldn’t find another place for us, moving to another establishment would have added another hour or more before we’d be seated and one couple in our party gave up in exhaustion and went back to their room.
After the other ex-diners had sat 40 minutes after paying, I went to the table and firmly requested they they vacate their table. They left, but not after complaining to the hostess about how rude I’d been. The hostess was not happy with me either, but at least the delayed meal went well. Given the circumstances, I felt I’d done the only thing I could. How else might I have handled this? Remember, changing restaurants was not a viable option.
Disgruntled in Denver
Dear Disgruntled,
While your frustration was understandable, you shouldn’t have “firmly requested” that the diners leave their table. The other party had a right to relax after dinner; the table was their piece of real estate that they paid for. All too often diners in the U.S. don’t take the time to leisurely savor their dining experience, including the afterglow that follows a sumptuous meal. People are either in a hurry, or servers rush the courses. In many other countries, lingering over a meal is actually a part of the cultural fabric. Of course, with tipping constituting a good chunk of a server’s pay in the U.S., servers don’t get paid as much when tables aren’t turned over. Therefore those who linger should take that into consideration when tipping their server.
But your party had a right to expect to be seated within a reasonable duration following the time for which the reservation was made. The restaurant should have addressed the matter before your annoyance reached the boiling point, which created an uncomfortable situation for everyone. Here is what they could have done:
If there was another table available, they could have politely approached the diners and informed them that a large party had been waiting for a good while, and that if they’d be willing to move to an available table, they’d be given complimentary desserts (for example). If there weren’t any tables available, the restaurant could have offered to comp a free appetizer on their next visit if they’d leave.
By seeking out a win-win the restaurant would, at the least, had partially satisfied customers instead of everyone with a sour taste in their mouth.
[Note: Dev is frequently in parts unknown and therefore is often unavailable to answer dining-related questions. Questions may still be submitted to him (askdev@dinnersfromhell.com), but there's no guarantee if or when he'll respond.]
Tagged as:
gratuity,
reservations
Hey Dev,
I am going to propose to my girlfriend soon and I would like to do it while we are at a romantic restaurant we are thinking of going to on her 21st. However I am quite unsure about how to do it. I don’t just want to open the box over the table and ask the big question; I want to do something a bit more dramatic. Any ideas would be much appreciated.
- Romantic
Dear Romantic,
Dev is still gallivanting in parts unknown, and since you have a time sensitive issue, and since I proposed to my wife in a restaurant myself, I thought as the site’s owner that I’d personally address your question.
First of all I made sure that I selected a restaurant with a romantic ambiance, one that we’d been to before and I knew that she loved. It was dimly lit, quiet, and had excellent food, and the service was performed the way it should be – attentive only when needed. Also, so we could linger, I made sure to select a day and time when servers wouldn’t be under pressure to turn over tables.
I ordered a bottle of my girlfriend’s favorite wine. When she went to the lady’s room, I dropped the engagement ring into her glass of wine. I made sure that the glass was nearly full so she wouldn’t tilt it enough to swallow the ring, plus I kept a constant eye on her whenever she lifted the glass. At first she didn’t notice the ring, then suddenly she stared into the glass and exclaimed, “Oh my God!” I fished the ring out with a clean spoon, wiped it dry, then proposed to her. Gratefully she said “Yes!” I had made previous arrangements with our server to bring a dessert for us to share after dinner, and to say “Congratulations!” It was a memorable proposal, one that we’ll never forget.
I’m not suggesting that you do the same thing, as I don’t want to receive any blame if the ring gets swallowed! But I do want you to be cognizant of the importance of selecting the right restaurant and dining conditions. Maybe some of the visitors to this site will contribute their own suggestions for you.
I wish you the best on your proposal. Please post a comment to let everyone know how it turned out!
Gregg
[Note: Dev is frequently in parts unknown and therefore is often unavailable to answer dining-related questions. Questions may still be submitted to him (askdev@dinnersfromhell.com), but there's no guarantee if or when he'll respond.]
Tagged as:
romance
Hey Dev,
I am allergic to several foods and one night I ordered my usual at my former fav Mexican restaurant. I asked for no bell peppers and I always tell them that it will make me very sick (hospital sick) if they are in the dish. This time they forgot and left the peppers in and I pointed it out and asked for a new dish, this one came out with a pepper still in it; it looked like they had just picked them off. I told them that I can’t eat anything that has touched bell peppers as I stop breathing. They brought out another plate and it still had peppers on it. The manager came over and I told him what happened and he offered another one but I told them that I didn’t want anything, to just forget it, and that I wouldn’t come back again. I sat there while my daughters finished their meals. Was this the right thing to do?
Thanks,
- Julie, the girl that can’t eat carrots, walnuts, bananas, bell peppers, mangos, melons, tropical fruit and now the newest addition-celery
Dear Julie,
Let me see if I’ve got this right – you informed the server that bell peppers might lead to your demise and yet you were served them anyway 3 times – and you want to know if you did the right thing by refusing to eat there? Here’s my reply in 2 words – HELL YES!
Alas, the world is full of shades of gray rather than black and white, so my full reply isn’t going to be so succinct. While you had every right to get hot under the collar over the peppers, I wonder if perhaps there was a misunderstanding. I can’t see the restaurant wanting to intentionally put you into the grave (for one thing it wouldn’t be good for business). Unlike many of the chain restaurants which are training staff to be aware of food allergies, smaller mom-and-pop establishments don’t get many diners reporting the problem. Combine unfamiliarity with a language barrier, and you have a recipe for disaster.
You might want to bring with you cards that simply note which foods you’re allergic to which can be handed from the server to the chef. Maybe one side can be in English and the other in Spanish. There are websites where such cards can be purchased, but the ones that I found only offered cards for the most common types of food allergies. You can create your own cards, perhaps including graphics to help get your point across, such as this not-too-subtle one that I put together:
Best wishes to you Julie. Say “Hola” if you ever run into me in a Mexican restaurant. I’ll be happy to treat you to some margaritas and a dinner – sans bell peppers of course.
[Note: Dev is frequently in parts unknown and therefore is often unavailable to answer dining-related questions. Questions may still be submitted to him (askdev@dinnersfromhell.com), but there's no guarantee if or when he'll respond.]
Tagged as:
food & beverage issues
Hey Dev,
We just returned from a wonderful dinner out with our two sons and their girlfriends.
My husband made reservations earlier in the day. Our entire party arrived early and checked in. We waited in the bar for approximately 5 minutes, which was fine. It was a cool evening and the hostess took us outside where there were two round tables put together; it was not conducive to conversation. There were no tablecloths and the tables did not look clean. I asked if we could have a table inside and was told that there would be a wait. The restaurant was not full and there were empty tables for 6 visible. I reminded the hostess that we had made a reservation and asked to speak with the manager. She left for a very brief time and returned and sat us at a lovely table inside. I thanked her.
I am wondering what might have been a better way to handle this situation. My sons, and their girlfriends, seemed a little uncomfortable when I asked for a different table and to see the manager when told there would be another wait.
Any advice would be appreciated.
- Don’t Mess With Mama In California
Dear Don’t Mess With Mama,
Did the restaurant inform you when the reservations were made that they only had outside dining available at your requested time? Or did you request to eat outside when you made the reservations? If such was the case, then their reluctance probably was because other diners had made reservations to eat inside. If neither was the case, then you should have been informed when you made reservations that there were no tables available inside the restaurant.
You certainly had the right, regardless of the circumstances, to ask if a table was available inside. A restaurant that wants to do well will try its best to please its customers, which this one did. Diners need to keep in mind, however, that restaurants also have to meet other customer’s needs, and that those with reservations have priority.
I’m not sure, Don’t Mess With Mama, why your sons and their girlfriends were uncomfortable with your request, unless it was done in an angry or brusque manner. Negotiating to have one’s needs met is more pleasant for all, and is usually more effective, if done in a politely assertive manner.
The next time that you make reservations to dine at the restaurant, be sure to state that you’d like to sit inside. And when you arrive, say “hello” if you happen to see me there. I’ll be the one dressed up all spiffy with polished horns and martini in hand.
[Note: Dev is frequently in parts unknown and therefore is often unavailable to answer dining-related questions. Questions may still be submitted to him (askdev@dinnersfromhell.com), but there's no guarantee if or when he'll respond.]
Tagged as:
reservations
