Ask Dev

Hey Dev,

This happened a few years ago but it still bothers me to think about it. My wife and I attended a family wedding out of town. After a long afternoon, 11 relatives wanted to go out to dinner. We called a restaurant near our motel (chain, not pricey, not fast food.) They told us they could seat us at 7:30 and we made the reservation.

The walk over took 15 minutes and we were there by 7:20, aware we might have to wait a bit past the promised time. The hostess identified the tables we’d be sitting at. One of them was being cleared, and the other had a party of five who had just paid their bill. We expected to to be seated shortly. Except that the other party decided to stay and talk. And talk. And talk some more. Even though we were waiting, even though other later arrivals had a 45 to 60 minute wait, the restaurant wouldn’t ask the loiterers to move. The restaurant couldn’t find another place for us, moving to another establishment would have added another hour or more before we’d be seated and one couple in our party gave up in exhaustion and went back to their room.

After the other ex-diners had sat 40 minutes after paying, I went to the table and firmly requested they they vacate their table. They left, but not after complaining to the hostess about how rude I’d been. The hostess was not happy with me either, but at least the delayed meal went well. Given the circumstances, I felt I’d done the only thing I could. How else might I have handled this? Remember, changing restaurants was not a viable option.

Disgruntled in Denver

Dear Disgruntled,

While your frustration was understandable, you shouldn’t have “firmly requested” that the diners leave their table. The other party had a right to relax after dinner; the table was their piece of real estate that they paid for. All too often diners in the U.S. don’t take the time to leisurely savor their dining experience, including the afterglow that follows a sumptuous meal. People are either in a hurry, or servers rush the courses. In many other countries, lingering over a meal is actually a part of the cultural fabric. Of course, with tipping constituting a good chunk of a server’s pay in the U.S., servers don’t get paid as much when tables aren’t turned over. Therefore those who linger should take that into consideration when tipping their server.

But your party had a right to expect to be seated within a reasonable duration following the time for which the reservation was made. The restaurant should have addressed the matter before your annoyance reached the boiling point, which created an uncomfortable situation for everyone. Here is what they could have done:

If there was another table available, they could have politely approached the diners and informed them that a large party had been waiting for a good while, and that if they’d be willing to move to an available table, they’d be given complimentary desserts (for example). If there weren’t any tables available, the restaurant could have offered to comp a free appetizer on their next visit if they’d leave.

By seeking out a win-win the restaurant would, at the least, had partially satisfied customers instead of everyone with a sour taste in their mouth.

[Note: Dev the Dining Devil is frequently in parts unknown and is therefore often unavailable to answer questions about restaurant dining. Questions may still be submitted to him (askdev@dinnersfromhell.com), but there's no guarantee if or when he'll respond.]

Tagged as: long wait, reservations, tipping

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