Odds & Ends Stories

About 4 years ago, to celebrate an occasion when I was in primary school, we went to a local pizza restaurant. We had been here several times before and we were satisfied with the service and food. But on this particular night, we were shocked with the service that we were provided with.

We had made a reservation prior knowing the place did get busy at times. We all packed in the car, and headed over to the restaurant looking forward to our meal.

When we arrived, the store was packed to the rafters. Every table that we saw was full. We had mentioned our reservation to the person at the front door and we sat down, waiting for our table. We had to wait for about ten
minutes until we got our table. A bit annoying, but we shook off the thought; we wanted tonight to be an enjoyable night.

After a few more minutes, the waiter came and took our orders. We ordered a jug of lemonade, three pizzas for us three kids, a schnitzel for my dad and some pasta for my mum.

Things started out well. We got our jug of lemonade first, which was followed by my parent’s meals. Seeing that my parent’s meals had arrived, I was expecting my big pizza soon.

But after thirty minutes, the time that it took last time we went to the restaurant to get our food, we still didn’t have any pizzas. We did give the staff a bit of grace knowing it was a busy night. We decided to be polite
and wait a bit longer.

Another 20 minutes went past. By this time my parents had already eaten their meals. My siblings and I were still hungry and we were salvaging the only thing that we had to cease our hunger: the jug of lemonade, which was almost empty.

My parents knew something was up, so my mother went up to one of the staff members, a teenage girl, and told her our problem. She said that she would “get it fixed.” Nothing else. By now we were very annoyed.

Another 20 minutes had passed, and my parents were very angry, and my brothers and I were becoming restless and annoyed. It had been an hour and ten minutes and we had still not received our pizzas, whilst everyone else around us did. My parents had almost done a dine and dash, but being the polite and well-mannered people they are they decided not to. My mother then got the attention again of the teenage girl, clearly stating that we had ordered our food over an hour ago and we were about to leave. The girl apologizes, says it will be ready soon and rushes back to the kitchen area.

It had been an hour and a half. We were relying on water to fill our stomachs now, the nine-dollar lemonade jug being drained long ago. The girl reappeared again, but this time with the three pizzas in her hands. We were happy that we finally got them, but were extremely annoyed that it took that long. Being very hungry and tired, we dug into the pizzas. But they just didn’t taste as good as I remembered it. It seemed like the chefs were in such a rush to get them to us that they just piled ingredients onto the pizzas without even thinking about quality.

After almost two hours, we were finished with our food, paid for our meals and requested that our pizzas be boxed up so we could take them home and eat them later. We were escorted out. But when we were walking back to the car, we realised that they never gave us the boxed up pizzas! Furious, we marched back up, told the staff, grabbed them and hastily made our way back to the car.

It has been 4 years now and that whole experience has left me with a bad impression of the restaurant. We usually leave tips, but we were so unimpressed with the quality of the food, the time that we were waiting, and the bad customer service we received, that we left no tip. It would have even been fine if the waiter had come up to us, told us the pizzas were coming late, and asked my parents if they would like their meals served with ours. That would have been a bit more pleasant, if we were told what was going on. If I had to go back to that day, I would have told my parents that I just wanted to go to the fast food place across the street. Looking back now, I believe that doing that would have been more enjoyable than waiting one and a half hours on a pizza.

- Ramsay

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This happened back in the 1970s. I was working a summer job as a gas pump jockey on the New York State Thruway (back before self-service.) For the first few days, I went next door to the cafeteria (back before they became fast food outlets) for lunch. Then one day, the cafeteria manager came up to me (granted, I was wearing my gas station uniform) and said to me, “From now on, please sit at a dirty table.”

I looked up in astonishment and said, “Huh?”

He repeated his request and added, “You don’t mind sitting at a dirty table.”

I just looked at him in disbelief. From then on, I brown-bagged my lunch from home.

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I had my reservations about going to this hamburger restaurant in the first place, given the number of less than stellar reviews on both Yelp and FourSquare. As a social marketer I do my research on new places and generally think the crowd gets it right. But I figured, “What the heck, it’s in the neighborhood, I’ll give it a whirl,” and I was a big fan of the spot when it was under a different name. Plus one of my dining companions claimed to have heard good things about it. From whom these “good things” were heard, I have no clue, they clearly were talking about a different restaurant.

We were seated in the back dining room, where I believe only one other table was occupied. We order drinks, which come pretty quickly, however all of the sodas were flat. Problem #1.

We then ordered our appetizer. We went with the fries, but added on truffle oil, demi-glace, and cheese curds to make them more poutine-like (as we all love the delish poutine at a nearby pub). Five minutes later fries arrive. Plain. With a plastic cup of ketchup on the side. No cheese curds, no demi-glace, no truffle oil, no poutine-ness. Problem #2.

We tell the waiter this is not what we ordered; he insists this is it, the toppings are buried inside the pile of fries. We think “Hmmm, that’s weird,” and dig deeper in the fries. But we still don’t find any yummy toppings. Problem #3.

We call the waiter back again to tell him about this. He takes the plate back into the kitchen and returns with a plastic cup with shredded parmesan cheese and tells us these are the cheese curds. Clearly that is not the case. Problem #4.

Our waiter comes back to take our dinner order. We get through three of the four burger orders, when my friend mentions the plainness of our fries and describes what demi-glace and cheese curds should look like. The waiter then swiftly picks up the plate and takes it back to the kitchen, without taking the fourth order. Problem #5.

Five minutes later he returns, apologizing for the mistake; fortunately this plate of fries resembles what we ordered. Our fourth diner then had to ask if he could order. Problem #6.

Ordering finally complete, we dive into the fries, which were actually delicious. This is a good thing since it took 30 minutes to get them right and we were starving. We were then joined by two other friends who pulled up a table and joined us. One orders a lager and is told they don’t have any. Seriously? Problem #7.

Another orders a Stoli Razz drink and is told they have no Stoli. Problem #8.

We were amazed that a place with such a big bar could have no light beer of any kind and no top shelf vodka, but they order other drinks and are satisfied. Our two new guests were given menus and here’s the kicker… wait for it… are told that the place had “run out of beef.” Problem #9.

Given the fact that there were only maybe seven other people in the place the entire time we were there between 7:00 pm and 9:00 pm, there is no way that they had a run on burgers before we came in. Also burgers make up 75% of the menu; once you knock those out of consideration you are left with pizza or pasta for dinner. Fortunately, our friends are told that it happened to be two-for-one-pizza night. So they order two pizzas and dinner marches on… and on… and on. We wait over an hour for our burgers, which keep in mind were ordered 20 minutes before the pizzas, yet still somehow the pizzas arrive first. Problem #10.

We had our suspicions that they had actually run out of beef before any of us had ordered and ran over to Safeway to get some. Finally, an hour and fifteen minutes after we sat down, our burgers arrive. Problem #11.

Had the experience leading up to us receiving our food not been so negative, I may have been okay with the mediocre burger that I was served, but the burgers my friends got were terrible. My Princess Di burger had limp wet bacon on top, my friend’s medium burger was so overcooked and dried out he couldn’t eat it, and my other friend’s burger with an egg on top had a huge piece of egg shell in it. Problems #12-14.

I won’t even get into how long it took to get the bill once we had finished attempting to eat. Problem #15.

Once we got the bill, we were charged for two pizzas instead of one as we were promised. Problem #16.

After some conversation with our waiter the bill was fixed, and after some additional urging and our reminding him of the ridiculous things that had happened, he cut our bill in half. A very nice gesture, but it still does not salvage the situation.

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I was the opening manager for a restaurant in downtown Washington D.C. many years ago. The restaurant was one of a chain that was very popular in the Washington area at the time. We opened at 7:00 AM for breakfast, which meant I had to get there at about 5:15 AM to open the store so we could prepare for the breakfast rush.

When I arrived at the store on this chilly March morning, several employees were already waiting to be let in. As was my custom I would lock the door behind me, being sure to lock both the middle and bottom locks on the big plate glass door. I would sit in the dining room for about 15 minutes while waiting for the remaining employees to arrive.

On this day as the last two workers came up to the door, I unlocked the middle lock and stooped down and unlocked the bottom lock. All of a sudden the door was pushed open, the two employees were literally thrown into the room and I was knocked off balance while still stooped over the bottom lock. Three young men with stocking caps on, brandishing a gun, ordered me to lock the door. I did so, and they directed us to the back of the store, down to the basement where the office was located. They rounded up the other employees already in the store and herded us all into the small office. The tallest intruder yelled at me to “open the damn safe.” The safe was located next to the wooden desk, and beside a metal file cabinet. On the side of the desk was a “panic” switch which would summon police. The thieves knew it was there, and told me not to push it, just “open the damn safe.” Well, with a gun pointed at my head, I could not remember the combination, and my hands were shaking so bad I could barely turn the dial.

After what seemed like an hour, but was only a few minutes, the door bell to the store began to ring as other employees showed up for work. The thieves were getting nervous, and the gun was looking bigger and bigger to me. I finally got the safe open, but there was less than $150 opening cash in it; the previous day’s money had been deposited the night before. What the crooks didn’t know was there was a silent panic button inside the safe, which I somehow remembered to flick. They quickly scooped up the money, and put us all in the walk-in ice box and locked it from the outside. They made their escape through the basement rear door. Within minutes, which again seemed a lot longer, Washington’s Finest opened the walk-in and let us all out. The thieves had been caught at the end of the alley behind the restaurant.

We were all shaky and cold, but not as cold as the half dozen or more employees at the front door who were waiting in the cold and had no idea what was going on.

- Jack

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