seating

Gas Pump Jockey Banished to Dirty Table

November 23, 2011

in Odds & Ends Stories

This happened back in the 1970s. I was working a summer job as a gas pump jockey on the New York State Thruway (back before self-service.) For the first few days, I went next door to the cafeteria (back before they became fast food outlets) for lunch. Then one day, the cafeteria manager came up to me (granted, I was wearing my gas station uniform) and said to me, “From now on, please sit at a dirty table.”

I looked up in astonishment and said, “Huh?”

He repeated his request and added, “You don’t mind sitting at a dirty table.”

I just looked at him in disbelief. From then on, I brown-bagged my lunch from home.

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Tagged as: owner/manager, seating

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Grief For My Boss

January 9, 2010

in Diner Stories

I work as a kitchen assistant at a restaurant and I feel compelled to tell this story of what happened to my boss. He works both as the restaurant’s manager and host, so he has to meet everyone that comes in and show them their seats. I feel sorry for him as he has to deal with many stupid and arrogant customers, but when he told me this story I was shocked.

It happened on a bank holiday and I was not at work that day. It was also pouring with rain outside and the restaurant was very busy with only about two tables free. A snooty businessman came in and asked my boss for a table for ten people! He clearly did not notice the busy atmosphere. Anyway, my boss explains that they do not have any room for that amount of people. But this snooty bootie does not take no for an answer. The following argument went like this.

CUSTOMER:  But I can see some tables free over there.

BOSS:  Yes but there is still no room.

CUSTOMER:  Well can’t you join them up together or something?

BOSS:  There is no room to put all those tables together sir.

CUSTOMER:  But there is plenty of room here!

He points to the space that the staff need to use to move from the restaurant to the kitchen doors.

BOSS:  I’m sorry sir but the staff need that space to get to and from the kitchen.

CUSTOMER:  But there is plenty of room!

BOSS:  Sir if you all sat there, you would be blocking the other customers and staff and have food spilled all over you. I’m sorry sir but what you are asking is just not possible.

CUSTOMER:  Well where else am I supposed to go then?

BOSS:  Well sir on a rainy bank holiday, there are only two other restaurants I can suggest to fit in ten people, McDonald’s and KFC!

CUSTOMER:  I WANT REAL FOOD!

I d0n’t know how it finished but there is absolutely no excuse for the way this snobbish son of b**** treated my boss.

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Tagged as: kitchen staff, owner/manager, seating, snooty

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No Buffer Zone

April 8, 2009

in Ask Dev

Hey Dev,

Hi there. This always happens to us: we go to a restaurant, I ask for a booth, which I prefer, and even if the entiiiiiiiiiiiire restaurant is virtually empty, they invariably stick us in the booth right next to other people. Why is this done???? I like to have a buffer zone between myself and other diners, especially if the restaurant is not busy.

My husband says it’s because they work to fill the restaurant from the back to the front – is this true??

When I ask for an alternate table, my daughter always gets embarrassed and says that I am being too picky.

- J.

Dear J.,

Great question, J. I’ve wondered about that as well, and thought that it was just one of those mysteries in life that will never be solved. But since you asked the question and I aim to please, I consulted with the Director of Operations of a very good restaurant. He provided the following explanations:

  • There might only be one server on duty at the time and therefore all diners will be placed within that server’s section.
  • The kitchen might be transitioning from lunch to dinner, and so to reduce noise levels diners might be placed into a remote section.

That made sense, but it didn’t answer the question why diners seated within the same section are placed right next to each other. So I pressed on.

Finally the answer to the question was revealed. He explained that that is done in case tables have to be combined should a large party arrive.

While that didn’t explain why diners wanting to sit in booths are placed next to each other, I didn’t press him on that scenario since his restaurant doesn’t have any booths. I also didn’t ask him why, whenever I’m the first patron in a restaurant, I’m often given the worse table which usually seems to be the one closest to the restrooms. You’d think that any restaurant would be proud to display Dev, who dresses for the atmosphere and polishes his horns, up front and center. But I was happy at least having part of a mystery in life solved, and therefore promptly ordered a martini to celebrate.

Regarding your daughter’s embarrassment about you asking for a table of your choice, be comfortable in knowing that your actions teach her that it’s entirely proper to be politely assertive in order to negotiate one’s way in life.

Dev the Dining Devil

[Note: Dev the Dining Devil is frequently in parts unknown and is therefore often unavailable to answer questions about restaurant dining. Questions may still be submitted to him (askdev@dinnersfromhell.com), but there's no guarantee if or when he'll respond.]

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