After spending the last 18 of my 32 years in the restaurant business in the Chinese restaurant niche, I’ve become astounded at the way some older men, particularly veterans, are like dinosaurs when it comes to their racist remarks. For the record, my heritage is German; I’m not Asian-looking at all (rather very WASPy) but I speak Mandarin Chinese fluently.
It starts with the people who walk into my place, stare at me and say “funny, you don’t look Chinese!” I’d reply without skipping a beat, “Oh, but yes, I am Chinese. I was disfigured in a horrible accident.”
I’ve sat in bars after work and had fellows find out what business I’m in and say things about my staff like: “When you’re f*cking them, do they say ‘I love you long time?” (this usually uttered with the Asian stereotype: “ruv you rong time”). I actually had a man enquire as to whether I had a mail-order bride (yes, my wife is Chinese; from Taiwan, but she’s been here for most of her 45 years). I’m sure you get the picture.
To the gentleman of Irish descent who told one of my servers: “go back to the rice paddy and get me some more rice – chop! chop!” I said “gee, while we’re embracing stereotypes why don’t you get me a few boiled potatoes…”
Often, in our bar, a drunken 70-something will ask me out loud if I can get him a discount at “an Asian massage parlor.” Some even enquire if I own an Asian massage parlor. Others just outright ask my permission to have sex with my waitresses – occasionally with said waitress within earshot.
The best one was the bone-head who claimed he was a Korean war veteran. He insisted on coming into the bar at our Chinese restaurant at least once a week. When it came time to order food, all he’d get would be chicken wings. He claimed that the sight of Chinese food made him sick because “in the war I was a P.O.W. and all they gave us to eat was rice, with maggots in it… to this day I can’t eat rice…” This fellow would go on and on about the “gooks” and the “chinks.”
At a St. Patrick’s dinner at the local V.F.W., I was a guest. Of course I asked why this particular gentleman wasn’t there – I figured with all the talk about his war-time experiences he’d be at the V.F.W. for the festivities. The fellows sitting with me laughed, “oh, heavens. You got taken in – [name of customer] was never in the Korean war. In fact, he was never in the armed forces. He’s got one leg shorter than the other so he wasn’t fit to serve and got an exemption. We doubt he’s ever set foot in the far East.”
You can imagine the look on this guy’s face when I let him know the gig was up and that we were on to him. Not only had he insulted us frequently, but the whole “basis” for why he behaved this way was a fabrication on his part. I’ve never seen anyone more embarrassed. He threw a $20 on the bar and never, ever came back.
- Xiao Gou
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