Birthday Bust

February 17, 2009

in Couples Stories

My parents invited my wife and me out for dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate my birthday. Since my wife was going to be in the part of town where the restaurant was located with her girlfriend “Anna” to attend an art fair anyway, Anna agreed to drive her to the fair. Afterwards they planned to arrive early at the restaurant to share a drink together at the bar, and then Anna was going to leave so that my parents, wife and I could dine together. Then, of course, my wife and I would drive home together.

As it turned out, my wife and Anna arrived later than expected, just before our dinner reservations were set. They had just ordered their drinks when I arrived at the restaurant where I met my parents in the lobby. My wife and I told Anna that she could sit at our table until she finished her drink. At first she declined, but then accepted when I told her that it would be okay until she was done with her beverage. As it turned out, Anna remained at the table after finishing her drink, browsing the menu. I whispered to my wife, “I thought she was going to leave?”

My wife responded, “She’s going to order something to go first.”

Time went by and Anna didn’t order any food to go. When she left to go to the restroom, I asked my wife when Anna was going to leave. My wife said that she was going to stay and dine with us, but that she would be paying for her own meal. I was furious, and told my wife that it was rude to invite someone else when it was my parents who gave us the invitation so that we could enjoy an evening with them.

I left the table, met Anna as she left the restroom, and politely explained to her that the agreement was that she was going to leave after she finished her drink. I also explained that my parents had invited my wife and me as an opportunity for us to be together as a family. She seemed to understand and said she’d depart.

When I returned to the table I told my wife what I had told Anna. She was shocked and left to speak with her. After a while my wife returned and stated that she was leaving. Soon afterwards Anna came to the table to say good-night and she wished me a happy birthday.

That was a birthday celebration that I’d just as soon forget.

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

OldBillsMom February 23, 2009 at 3:35 pm

I can't even begin to imagine how humiliated your wife must have felt at your rude and boorish behavior. Was your world collapsing at the thought of someone unrelated having dinner with you?

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Rachel June 1, 2011 at 1:24 am

He wasn't rude or boorish…Anna was. Who on earth invites themselves to a family dinner when she knew full well that she was not expected to be there? Especially when she knew the circumstances–that it was her friends husband's b-day, and that his parents, whom he did not see often, were treating them specificially so they could have more one on one time AS A FAMILY?

His wife was wrong to take that inconsiderate woman's side.

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Anon June 3, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Thanks for understanding what I went through Rachel!

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Rachel June 1, 2011 at 1:44 am

His wife could have saved herself the 'humiliation' by not acting like a bratty little schoolgirl.

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Anon February 23, 2009 at 7:47 pm

No, that wasn't the issue. It was out of consideration for my parents who don't see us much and wanted to spend the time with us.

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Anonymous March 4, 2009 at 9:00 am

Maybe the writer should start spending time at the etiquette hell website. He may learn something.

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@KravVegan April 20, 2011 at 8:43 am

I think he already knows it. A polite "I cannot accommodate that request".

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anonymous March 30, 2009 at 4:07 pm

I feel that your wife's friend should have been considerate enough to leave the two of you and your parents alone to celebrate. It is rude to invite yourself to join someone else's celebration. Is it possible that your wife invited Anna to join you for dinner? Sorry you didn't get to enjoy your birthday.

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Anon March 31, 2009 at 3:49 pm

She claims she didn't, but she certainly didn't dissuade her! She was thinking about her own needs instead of mine, I'd say.

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Anonymous April 2, 2009 at 12:46 pm

wow, brother…just wow.

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Chris April 2, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Sorry dude but your wife was a B**CH in that story

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Jess April 3, 2009 at 10:21 am

It sounds like there are serious marital issues here and the wife was looking for an excuse not to be alone with the husband and his parents. If the friend is boorish enough to stay when it is clearly a family affair, then the wife should have said a more forceful goodbye to her. However, the husband sounds like an overgrown baby. As long as Anna was paying for her own meal, he should have just ignored her and enjoyed dinner with his parents. "She was thinking about her own needs instead of mine"?! Get over it! Just because it was your birthday does not mean that you are king and she is your subject. Neither of these people sound mature enough to be married to each other.

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Sympathy Given December 7, 2010 at 10:21 pm

PLEASE SHARE THE DRUGS YOU'RE SMOKING BECAUSE UH YES, HE WAS INVITED OUT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY SO HE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE SO RUDE AS TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO IT. IF SHE WAS A GOOD FRIENDLY PERSON I'M SURE O.P WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED.

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jaymoney April 3, 2009 at 11:22 am

You're a dick. Why couldn't you just deal with it? No nookie for you that night.

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Anonymous April 3, 2009 at 12:51 pm

what a retard you are! the world doesnt come to an end if someone joins you for a dinner!

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Onslow April 17, 2009 at 12:40 pm

I really think this was all your wife's plan so that she could enjoy the company of her friend and not have to spend dinner with your parents by themselves. I think the friend did this as a favor to your wife and understood perfectly when you spoke to her privately. I do not blame you a bit for your reaction. I have to believe your wife does not like one or both of your parents. I think you acted appropriately under the circumstances.

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Hanh April 23, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Your wife was definitely acting like a spoiled brat. Your parents had invited you and her, not Anna to the dinner. If this had been a dinner at their house, would she have been so rude as to invite someone to come along without asking first? It doesn't matter if she didn't want to be alone with your parents or not.

I think you handled it just fine and Anna understood. Your wife overreacted. If she felt humiliated, it should be for realizing she was behaving very rudely to your parents.

If she didn't want to dine with them, she needed to grow up and suck it up or suggest that you dined with your parents alone.

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ashley June 23, 2009 at 3:27 pm

You're a dick.

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Kad December 17, 2009 at 12:02 am

Scheduling 2 social events (your wife/ 'girlfriend' and dinner with wife and parents) on one night….

Are you stupid, or medicated, or just very controlling in nature?

I'm happy you reduce your chances to reproduce so blithely.

You seem like a stuckup douche who needs a good punch to remind you what life feels like.

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PickleLicker January 21, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Free clue. Your wife hates your parents and you. She'd rather douse herself in gasoline and light up than eat dinner with you.

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A Mom February 1, 2010 at 8:52 pm

So you had someone drive your wife to dinner, and didn't even offer to buy the lady a drink? Then asked her to leave? Wow. If you were my husband, you wouldn't be anymore.

This only qualifies as a dinner from hell for the rest of the people at your table.

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Jack February 5, 2010 at 5:47 pm

You are an idiot! A boorish idiot!!

No wonder your wife wanted someone else at the table. And what's with you parents, why didn't they just invite the woman to have dinner?

I'm sure by now your wife had dumped you, and you can go back to having birthday dinners with your mommy, who I am sure puts you first.

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Iloveflying February 12, 2016 at 5:45 am

They just wanted his wife and him! Look at the comments its the parents fault! Anna is not his girlfriend! She is a friend of his wife's!!!! They got there later than expected!

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waittron February 7, 2010 at 11:48 am

I think that Anna was the rude one here. The author's parents invited him and his wife, NOT her. Anna should have known better and finished her drink and left! She was the one who created the uncomfortable situation for everyone. Why would you want to intrude on a family gathering? Especially when you weren't invited!

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College Kid November 2, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Why would you post a story only about you being a selfish jerk?

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College Kid November 2, 2010 at 12:34 pm

btw i hope she divorced your needy ass

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Robert February 14, 2013 at 3:39 pm

Soooo…..how's single life treating you?

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winkieson July 21, 2013 at 2:46 pm

It sounds to me like your wife should have been the one responsible for informing Anna that this was supposed to be a family dinner. Though you didn't explicitly say it, I get the impression that your wife may have invited, or at the very least condoned Anna's joining your family for dinner.

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Diablo August 17, 2016 at 8:24 pm

Jesus people! Let me explain. Parents invite their son and his wife to a family dinner. Wife's friend Anna drives her there, gets a drink, and they invite her to sit with them to finish that drink. They do this to thank her. Then she picks up a menu. She never should of done this, they only invited her to finish her drink. She invited herself to a family dinner. He asks her to leave, this is the right thing to do! Intruding on someone's family dinner should get you a lot more than being asked to leave! Now, when he informs his wife, she has a fit. A childish thing to do. Anna made him uncomfortable, and the wife should of grown a pair and realized she should of asked Anna to leave herself. She should of said " Thanks for driving me, Anna. I'll see you ( a day she can go hang out with her friend. ) " They probably would discuss and make a date to see each other, and Anna leaves. Instead, she did nothing and the problem rocketed forth.

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