2016

Intentionally screwing with the people who have access to your food makes about as much sense as lighting a cigarette while filling up your gas tank. However, there never seems to be a shortage of culinary warriors who insist on running face-first into a wall of pretense every chance they get. Whether motivated by ignorance […]

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Corporate restaurant marketing departments understand that the quickest route to their customer’s wallets is through their stomachs while simultaneously appealing to their vanity. The primary job of a restaurant marketer is to sit in an office cubicle six states removed from where you work while devising ways to extract as much money from your customers […]

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Ah, the holidays… Simultaneously the bane and windfall of every restaurant calendar year. Primarily populated by enthusiastic amateurs whose dining habits make pigs in a trough appear cultured, as well as employees who would rather be anywhere other than serving them, holidays are viewed by most restaurant workers as a time to hunker down for […]

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One day last summer I was working as usual at a seafood themed restaurant/pub. Being responsible for the place when the owner isn’t there, I carry the restaurant’s phone with me while I work.

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When desperation is all that’s left, gambling usually kicks in.

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This particular story occurred a few years ago when dining at a now-defunct Asian restaurant in College Station, Texas. My roommate and I were grabbing some dinner one Friday night before meeting friends to have drinks out. The particular restaurant we were at wasn’t anything fancy or special, but had been around a while and […]

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When I was in grad school, another student and I from the same lab group went out to a local Chinese restaurant for lunch. It was a nice place – a bit higher end than your typical takeout joint. At the end of the meal, I was paying cash and he was using a credit […]

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