Loud Disabled Kid

October 16, 2009

in Diner Stories

My girlfriend and I decided to go to a local Italian restaurant that we sometimes go to eat at during our regular evening dates after work. Being in our late teens we try to spend as much time together as possible. It wasn’t my favorite restaurant but it was still okay. When we arrived it hadn’t opened yet so we had a few soft drinks in the bar before passing through to the restaurant.

The problems started almost immediately. We approached a waitress who seemed to be cowering away from us. She was definitely new and very shy from the looks of her. Instead we were taken to a table by another waitress. As we sat down into the very crammed area I heard what sounded like a shriek; I shrugged it off. But a moment later a couple with their teenage son in a wheelchair comes to sit down at the table next to us. The boy was clearly mentally damaged but he wouldn’t shut up yelling. He would constantly yell and shout and throw things around and bang on the table. I was trying to have a romantic evening with my girlfriend but this was impossible due to this shrieking disabled kid next to us.

I know I should be understanding about this but I was loosing my patience fast. When we had finished our meals the bloody kid starts throwing the menus around yelling madly. As we passed I shot the family my coldest glare which seemed to shock the mother as the parents did nothing to stop their son.

{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }

Hugh October 19, 2009 at 1:59 am

How dare that family have the audacity to take their disabled son out in public to a place, knowing that you had a romantic evening planned! That is just the height of rudeness and cockblocking. I'll bet they purposely did something to him in utero to create this disability, just so that many years later they could ruin your evening. All those years of caring for their disbaled son, to heartache, the yearning for a "normal" child like everyone else, the wondering what will happen to him after they pass, all that was a mere charade as they awaited their true plan, ruining your romantic evening. I'm sure that glare you shot them must have really put them in their place. They'll probably just chain their disabled son up in the attic or basement. (Not sure how their house is arranged). No more out in public for him…he's obviously subhuman, and was putting on a pretend act to ruin your evening.

You are a poor excuse for a human being. How dare you write something like this. I hope you never have to endure the pain and anguish of a disabled child, and never have to withstand the stares of others, or the disaproving glares of horny teenagers who think the world owes them. I hope there is a special place reserved in hell for you.

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Katherine July 2, 2013 at 5:02 pm

Hugh, I personally think that YOU are a poor excuse for a human being. I mean really! Take a good long look at what you wrote. I know quite a few disabled people and people that have special needs, so what you said is offensive. I really hope karma hits you someday for saying such a thing, Hugh.

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Sisi October 12, 2013 at 8:13 pm

Katherine. I don't think you got Hugh's point. He is not anti-disabled people.

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John Wayne July 11, 2016 at 2:58 pm

No but he is juvenile, like so many others.

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Doug October 12, 2015 at 1:20 pm

Hope you never have children, what would you do if you had a handicapped child, would you get rid of the child? You can't trade them in for a new one

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Hughey long July 11, 2016 at 2:58 pm

Jesus Christ you are autistic.

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Sam September 5, 2016 at 4:46 am

Ate you kidding me am sorry but I'm agree kids need to learn to behave. If work in retail and this mom and her son with special needs come in she let's him go what ever she wants. He's running around hitting things with his shopping cart and the mom on the other side of the store shopping around. He has raised his had a few times like he was going to hit me am 4ft 8 inches and his 6 feet. It asked his mom please watch her son he is scared the guest and myself with his behavior of almost hitting. Now tell me is this ok??? Amd to top it off his mom doesn't do anything but takes my name to complete to corporate. Now is this behavior ok??

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Ann October 19, 2009 at 6:13 am

You are a jack ass!!!

Words cannot describe how disgusted I am by this post or how uncompassionate you seem to be to those around you. Disabled and handicapped people deserve every right to have a normal life and dinner out, just like you do. And that "delightful" cold glare you gave the mother, I hope your mother never find out what a coldhearted son she's raised. I seriously hope you never have children given your horrible attitude. And if you do, I hope you don't have a child who needs an understanding and compassionate parent.

P.S. Get your rocks off BEFORE going to a restaurant…jackass

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ps October 19, 2009 at 6:35 am

Seems like you upset a few posters. You have to feel for the family as well as the owner. If the owner didn't seat them there was likely a lawyer standing outside in between chasing ambulances just waiting for a discrimination suit. I'm sure the family was embarassed by their son's conduct so you have to put yourselves in their shoes as well. Also ignore the posters. You'll learn as you move closer towards adulthood.

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Hugh October 19, 2009 at 7:44 am

I agree with the other posters, though not with ps's last statement…do NOT ignore the posters. One of two things happened:

1) This really happened and you are an ass OR

2) This never happened and you are a trol…and an asshole.

So, either way you are an asshole, the question is how much of an asshole. I sincerely hope you are just a trolling asshole…

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Mimi October 19, 2009 at 6:27 pm

I have to agree with Hugh, you are a poor excuse for a human being and you have no compassion at all. You really do need to grow up and learn that the world does not revolve around you.

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Anonymous October 20, 2009 at 11:39 am

Hello everyone

This is the author of this story. I would like to express my most sincere apologies to you all. What I put on there was wrong and I am now really regretting it. I guess I was having a bad day and I had no right to say all that. I hope you will all forgive me and once again I am so sorry. Thank you for reading this

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Sheila April 16, 2016 at 12:41 am

I have an autistic adult son. Every day I get up and pray for a semi normal day. My prayers are never answered. Sometimes going through s drive thru is a nightmare let alone a sit down meal. I list my daughter, the only help we had, to cancer in June so we are severely grieving as well. My life and my husbands revolves around my son so we get no "romantic dinners" while you can have more. I envy you . we love our son but have limited lives as do the parents of the child in your rant. I can tell you there was NOTHING they could have done to stop him so they didn't try. I can tell you I cry everyday and wish life was different but it isn't. I want to thank you for apologizing…but more I want to thank you for being an add enough so I can rant and educate u a bit

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Jack kevorkian July 11, 2016 at 2:42 pm

No one cares stfu. You can't educate anyone you pretentious moron.

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4chan June 16, 2016 at 4:02 pm

Dont apoligize most the posters are either dickless normies or feminist SCUM.

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Jesus Christ November 15, 2009 at 7:51 pm

You are still a douche despite your apology. You are probably a middle class frat boy who majored in psychology or business but still lacks a few credits to graduate. Your date was probably a mindless booze hound with poor taste. And I know you're a fucking smelly, big-nosed, dumbo-eared Brit. Have a little compassion. My brother is autistic. He's never had the chance to go on a date, or speak, or fall in love or anything else people like you take for granted. I hope you have an accident that paralyzes you from the neck down. Maybe that will teach you some compassion or at least manners. I can't believe you gave that boy's family an evil stare. I hope it occurs soon…your impending accident I mean.

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Leece December 30, 2013 at 6:08 pm

My son is autistic…and I know very well that he can't go into public situations like this. Period. There's no reason to start name calling for the OP for having a really shitty night out because parents decided to bring their disabled kid to a place where he was OBVIOUSLY not having a good time.
Sending snide remarks and hopes of physical harm to the OP is just ridiculous and rude and shows that you more than likely also have some of the "retard" gene in you, too.

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everyonespal January 16, 2014 at 5:44 pm

I have a friends whos guita is acoustic, and that makes a loada noise too. perhaps you should show some compassion to diners who just wanna get down and dirty without the**** ************ upsetting them?

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Alex May 14, 2014 at 3:36 pm

Since you mention the fictitious "Retard gene" I am sure you dont care for your son, this is coming from a mentally challenged person, so Leece GET A FUCKING LIFE AND CARE FOR YOUR SON!

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Joey Fatoreh July 11, 2016 at 2:45 pm

The fact that you admit you are mentally disabled only drives home the point of your stupidity and lack of understanding of social conttext.

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Jeff fisher July 11, 2016 at 2:53 pm

He is trolling you autistic moron

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Matt O'Halloran July 11, 2016 at 2:43 pm

Well spoken my friend.

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hellya November 20, 2009 at 9:51 am

Lets rally to get a law passed to have all the disabled children shot, just so you can have a romantic evening with your girlfriend….

Sounds like a fun idea right!

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Mole July 11, 2016 at 2:54 pm

Yes. We need less baby daddies and criminals.

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Mule November 22, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Who cares if the kid was autistic? If he was yelling, banging on the table and throwing menus then he is a disturbance. I feel for you if the autistic child in question is related to you but frankly, that's not my cross to bear. I want to eat in peace and could give two shits about your drama until it interferes with me. Stoically ignoring the autistic fit being thrown because you want to eat out is not my problem. If the kid can't behave, don't take him out. Perhaps this kid should have asked to have been moved but I don't buy you all beating up on him because he didn't want to have dinner next to this distraction.

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Amber May 12, 2016 at 1:53 pm

It would be understandable to request to be moved, giving the parents a rude glare and just pouting and stewing in anger over their desire to go out for dinner is pathetic and asshat behaviour.

It's unfortunate that some people feel so entitled that they think their rights trump the rights of others. This family has the same rights to going out for dinner. It's called using compassion to try to overlook a disturbance from an obviously disabled person.

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ps November 23, 2009 at 7:15 am

Hey JC- You're the idiot, especially with that handle. I sympathize with the parents and the poster apologized .You're a moron.

The poster and his gal should have just left the place. It appears that folks that just want to have a nice dinner and cocktails always have to second their rights.

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Nori November 23, 2009 at 4:57 pm

thats sad that you would say such things. he has a mental condition, he probably was just trying to express some emotion, they have no other choice. I accept your apology. Mule how ever. your an asshole. it doesn't matter if its family or not. would you want to be glared and and made fun of for a family member you have no control over? especially if he was a teenager. their equally as strong as "normal" teens so if you want to try to hold their arms down andmake them stop yelling when then cannot, be my guest. burn in hell.

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Mule November 23, 2009 at 8:49 pm

I have a family member that I have no control over. We don't take her out to eat as we view that to be rude to other people. What's more, I've worked with the developmentally disabled and can tell you from first hand experience that you're not doing them any favors by making them a public spectacle. When I go out to eat, I really don't care that your life is hard because you have an autistic child. All things being equal, I wish you would stay home so I can eat in peace. If you want to be a rude ass by bringing the teenager that you know is probably going to act out into the public eye then you shouldn't be surprised to be stared at. It's like bringing a porn star to church.

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Chris July 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Yep! But try not to ruin everyone's holier-than-thou attitudes. I just know they would react perfectly to every uncomfortable situation, every single time.

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Smiling Charmer November 24, 2009 at 2:24 pm

You know what? Life happens. We plan to go to the beach and then it rains. You plan an unforgettable meal for your partner and when it's coming out of the oven,you drop it and the cat ends up having the unforgettable meal. You plan to spend the whole weekend studying for your finals, and then you come down with the flu and can't read a word. You anticipate a nice evening at an Italian Restaurant ,and all of a sudden you have to put up with the glare of a spoiled teenager who can't accept the fact that we all have the same rights.. Such is life.

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Parent November 25, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Did anyone ever considered that the reason the family was there as soon as the restaurant opened, was to cause as little problems for the other patrons as possible? I have a handicapped son and on the rare occasions when we go out to eat, we go early when there are few patrons. No one wants their child to become a "public spectacle", but hiding them at home is not the way to get other people to accept them either. The original poster could have asked to be moved, left early or just been grateful that he wasn't in their shoes and finished his meal.

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Amber May 12, 2016 at 1:56 pm

Agreed, being expected to hide away those with disabilities is against basic human rights and needs. Everyone needs to get out and be in public sometimes, it's good for your health to be around other people outside of your family.

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Amber July 11, 2016 at 2:48 pm

Well, it's not good for other people in public. It certainly doesn't foster positive interactions. You can take them to places like church instead. Show them to people who want to interact with them. Don't delude yourselves.

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Amber July 11, 2016 at 2:47 pm

Hiding them at home is exactly the way to get people to accept them. You arent entitled to special treatment.

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ps December 1, 2009 at 8:17 am

The original poster was a teenager and apologized . And the result was a continuing stream of hate from a number of posters. People here have wished him paralysis and other nice things. I think the "Loud Disabled Kid" is more stable than a bunch of the posters on this story.

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Chris July 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

These people are fucking horrible.

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Kad December 17, 2009 at 12:53 am

Wow. incredible story!

You should keep posting the other ways humanity upsets your 'plans'.

FYI, a romantic evening doesn't happen in a restaurant douche. It starts at home, maybe with a cheese tray….then a chocolate fondue…. But nevermind, you think being seated at a restaurant is the start of a romantic evening (which at your age means getting sloppy in bed, and nothing else). Next time hit a McD and race home as she finishes her fries and soda. The result will be the same.

You are a class act.

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nns740 December 19, 2009 at 9:24 pm

I have a sister with CP, and I agree with Parent. When we go out as a family, we choose to avoid the rush, in order to relieve other diners of potential meltdowns, which no one has any warning or control over. Further, seeing as these are teenagers, and this is their place to go for "regular evening dates," I doubt it is the typical place for a romantic night out. If this family chose a restaurant that is more casual, and avoided the rush hour, they clearly were trying to be accommodating to both the other patrons, and possibly a child that is still working on his/her ability to respond well to public places.

The nasty postings have gone on long enough, but for the author of this post, let me say that my family loves to use these moments as teaching moments, not only for my sister, that needs to learn acceptable behavior in public (it is a lifelong learning process, but a very rewarding one), but also for other patrons who don't have much exposure to those with disabilities. Although not always the case, for my sister, meltdowns go hand in hand with anxiety, so instead of angry glances that gets mom on edge (which rubs off to child), give a smile. Make eye contact. Caring glances go much further than angry ones.

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Kad December 20, 2009 at 5:27 am

That was a well-thought out post nns740.

I was one of those angry previous posters.

My nephew, 17 suffers from FAS, and I don't think he understands what was done to him. One second he's a normal kid, the next (without warning) he is, ah, difficult. I know his heart is honest and he wants to do the right thing.

His uncle Rob (that would be me) enjoys taking him out, and he seems to respond well to certain types of 'parental' control.

Nevertheless, there are times when I find it a challenge to be in public, even though I get to take him home to his grandmother. The OP was just proving how shallow we have become as a society, that we cannot somehow tolerate differences without getting offended by them.

My nephew has been learning Tai Kwon Do, is coaching a girls soccer team (I know the other boys his age are jealous, even though he has turned out to be a very good coach), and has found that gainful employment – i.e. access to earned income – can be a good thing.

What the OP fails to remember, and what has taken me 17 years to teach my nephew in sound-bite meetings, is that the world occurs around you whether you like it or not. It occurs around you, but that doesn't mean you are at the center of it.

Peace.

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Lovesto September 14, 2015 at 3:23 pm

That's Amazing kad! About your nephew!

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ps December 23, 2009 at 10:07 am

Your message is clear and you are right. The poster himself had already apologized but the stream of venom continued. The poster was obviously a teenager , was wrong and admitted it. Lesson learned (and how!). You made your valid point without spewing a stream of vindictive hateful comments, unlike numerous others. Thank you. Well done.

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luxpink January 7, 2010 at 9:31 am

the people who replied with such nasty hatred filled insults need to grow up just as much as the original poster did. seriously, grow up people! he realized his mistake and apologized, which first off, he did NOT have to do, and second, i think it was very big of him to realize the error of his ways and learn a lesson from it. is this how you people teach your kid right from wrong? scream, berate, and act like complete jackasses? really!

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kobold April 4, 2010 at 5:14 am

I have a right to a dinner with no disturbance ! This dumb mother should had an abortion at the time her doctor found out it would be a retard.

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TLR April 13, 2016 at 10:06 pm

You should have been aborted. Asshole!

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Amber May 12, 2016 at 1:59 pm

What about that family's right to go out for dinner. Your rights do not trump theirs.

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Anonymous April 5, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Hello, this is the author of the story again, I take back that apology, and want to say fuck you to everyone.

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Cat M June 4, 2012 at 8:09 pm

I'm with you on that. The kid was a huge disturbance and follow diners do not want to listen to that noise. Sorry for the family's difficulties but theree is no reason to visit that upon others.

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Chris July 13, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I hear you. The responses you got were waaaayyy over the line. Too bad people are cowards behind their keyboards.

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Peace Lover April 5, 2010 at 4:15 pm

The OP did the right thing by apologising which I believe was a truly brave and goodhearted thing to do. Some people like the disabled child in the story need that extra bit of compassion and love. We are born as we are and are all human no matter what.

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Yuck Fou April 7, 2010 at 8:57 am

What a bunch of sorry pieces of shit most of the commentors are, I'm sure their kids are equally assholic and think that every restaurant is Chuck E. Cheese or something. Disabled or not, this kid was being an asshole and annoying people so he should have been kicked out.

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Lovetofly September 14, 2015 at 3:27 pm

I think this particular kid couldn't control his emotional state so.yelling is how they express it. And if the disabled person got thrown out it would probably become a discrimination against the disabled.

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Yuck Fou April 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

My kids are like that too, and I hate them. We eat all of our dinners at mcdonalds.

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The Real Yuck Fou April 7, 2010 at 11:53 am

Nice try cumguzzler but I don't have kids.

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The Fake Yuck Fou April 7, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Shoot!

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Joe April 21, 2010 at 2:57 pm

?

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Anonymous June 6, 2010 at 11:21 pm

So basically, it's ok for retarded kids to disturb other people in public settings because they can't control themselves at all.

If the parents can bring their disaster of a son and have him chimpout I should be able to tell it to stfu. My defense ? I'm not retarded.

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yudelnoodle June 9, 2012 at 6:45 am

i have already posted here but honestly i have served more special needs children that are more well behaved than "normal" children. yes there is a limit but i think most posters agree that the original poster was a young selfish tool.

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Lovetofly September 14, 2015 at 3:33 pm

Do NOT call them retarded! That is an offensive term! That's why we say disabled! I am very offended by that word!

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MuffinBunny May 8, 2011 at 6:21 am

I agree that just because someone is different doesn't mean they should be discriminated against. His parents have the right to take him out just as anyone would. Just to play devil's advocate, though:
How is it fair to let this person scream and throw things about? That wouldn't be tolerated if the kid WASN'T disabled. Isn't that discrimination also?

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conrad August 21, 2011 at 1:49 am

Newsflash………there is no such thing as a romantic dinner in a family style restaurant !

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Sigh October 9, 2011 at 10:57 pm

You guys suck.
If this happened to me I'd also be upset and move tables.

You can feel sorry for the kid without wanting to be bothered, annoyed, or harassed by him.
I don't think this poster was mean at all. If the child hadn't had a mental problem most of you would have agreed something should have been done about it.
And something should have.
The manager should have had the poster moved to another table as soon as the screeching started.

You go out to eat, not to have your ears blown out.

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yudelnoodle June 9, 2012 at 6:50 am

ii agree that if it WAS NOT a special needs child the parents should have stepped in. however since they came in right when the restaurant opened, which was off of peak times, the family was trying to be considerate when they tried to have an evening out together. if the poster was that irritated then he should have asked to be moved instead of shooting dirty looks to the parents of a special needs child. when someone is special needs they don't understand societal norms or decorum. their intent is not to disturb, unlike a drunk or your run of the mill douchebag. however because of the age of the poster i wonder how bad the child was being. wait until he turns 21 and goes into Dennys at 2 am and acts a fool.

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concerned May 24, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I agree with the poster. Those parents shouldn’t take that thing out in public if it’s going to yell and scream and disturb everyone. Sorry and all but those things are a waste of resources and should never have been allowed to survive. Makes me sick.

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Sisi October 12, 2013 at 8:25 pm

Concerned….god, you are sick. Please do not refer to people as things.

To the parents who want to take these moments to educate others, or to teach your child about public life, I respectfully ask that you avoid restaurants. People who are eating out are paying to have comfort and relaxation, not stress and education.

I had disabled family members. I assure you, you will not win over the likes of concerned, above, and you will discourage understanding on the part of others who are facing their own joys and challenges and would like some peace while doing so. Taking your child out in public? Great, do that. Confined, expense based restaurant moments – even family restaurants – not so much. I apologize of concerned, his/her comment was truly, revoltingly, sub-human.

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Edward January 12, 2014 at 8:17 pm

Hello "Concerned". I'm a disabled adult man myself. And you're just a sickening worthless piece of shit. Hope that helps.

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everyonespal January 16, 2014 at 5:46 pm

betcha cant say that without dribbling!!

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yudelnoodle June 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

he should have asked to move then. and if the child was truly unruly the parents may should have taken him outside to calm down. however that is not always an option with special needs kids. and perhaps they were trying to socialize him and get him used to being in public. i'm sorry Mule and any one else who thinks like him, but the parents never get to dine in peace. they went to a restaurant right when it opened which was probably off peak hours out of consideration, only to be rebuked by a child. shame on you people. i work in restaurants and have served many handicapped people and would never blame that family.

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betweenyesterdayandtoday July 17, 2012 at 1:05 am

You are a disgrace and a fucking douche bag piece of shit loser. You are a sick, hateful person and I pray that you never ever have children. And if you do, I truly hope you get all this right back in your face. Karma is a bitch and I hope you get it good.

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everyonespal January 16, 2014 at 5:47 pm

wow.. that escalated quickly! you want fries with that?!!

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Pastor Dave July 11, 2016 at 2:52 pm

Do you have a mental disability, my friend?

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wtf??? July 23, 2012 at 6:27 pm

?

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Jessica October 10, 2013 at 4:21 pm

When I go out to a restaurant I don't want to here your little brat screaming at the next table. If you can't control your child don't take them out to nice restaurants. If your child is retarded even more to call a baby sitter and leave the brat at home. Everyone doesn't want to hear it. I am with the poster. But I would have told that mother to shut her child up and complained to the manager. I don't have children for a reason just because you have a child doesn't mean the whole world revolves around you and your loud mouth brat. No one wants to hear that shit. There should be no children sections in restaurants.

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Edward January 17, 2014 at 3:05 am

I want to thank you for not having children on behalf of handicapped children and adults everywhere Jessica. Because I'm sure as a mother you'd be a big fat failure at it! You useless coldhearted bitch.

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kitotsudetsu October 15, 2013 at 2:56 am

this is hilarious! you americans are really quite funny when you get worked up over something you know

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Hygfgbjj October 16, 2013 at 10:53 pm

Koto…what?

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Leece December 30, 2013 at 5:56 pm

There's nothing wrong with this post. If this was anyone being unruly it would have been just as unpleasant, whether it was an arguing couple or a screaming infant. No one said the disabled individual wasn't human, but COME ON…people need to use discretion in taking infants, disabled, etc into certain places, not only for the customers around, but for the noisemaker, also. Did anyone stop to think that perhaps due to this person's disability they didn't like being there? Maybe they were trying to show their displeasure in being there by acting out? It's more of a gesture (failed) of the parents trying to make themselves feel better by having an outing for a person in that state. They were obviously just as miserable as the OP.
And before anyone decides to crucify me, let me tell you I'm speaking from experience as the mother of a severely autistic son. I went through the guilt over never taking him places, so I tried. I tried hard. And guess what? The outcome was always the same. He threw fits, threw silverware, threw books, screamed, pissed himself, on and on. I finally went to a counselor for my guilt and my inability to cope and she gave me invaluable words of wisdom: "He doesn't like being there. The people around you probably don't like him being there. That's the way it is. If he's calm at home, and happy, then keep him home. Don't antagonize him by forcing him into a world he doesn't understand or can't fit into. Despite his disability, he FEELS that."
So I stopped, and he was happier, the end. It's not bigoted or whatever to say that a mentally disabled person having a tantrum is NOT PLEASANT to be around. Drop the PC crapp. Of course the person is human, bla bla bla. But so is the other 99% of the world and if we want to have a quiet meal by GOD it's our right, too. Parents are being selfish by trying to assimilate a person who is obviously miserable being there.
This also goes for parents who bring their misbehaving "normal" hellions to restaurants, babies into movie theaters after about 8 PM, and any other type of questionable situation you can think of.

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Crucible January 20, 2015 at 9:45 am

Well said.

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Leighann March 13, 2015 at 11:21 pm

My middle child started throwing tantrums when we went out to eat during my final pregnancy. She was right about two/three years old. My husband and I would sit in the restaurant until she started, and then took turns between sitting out in the car with her and eating. As much as we would have enjoyed being able to dine together in the restaurant, we knew the other patrons had a right to eat without being disturbed. I think all parents/caregivers should be courteous like that. When you accept the role of parent or caregiver, you give up certain things, and sometimes you are giving up the ability to dine out at a place. If you’re not willing to make the needed sacrifices, you don’t need to accept the role.

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Jack September 17, 2015 at 7:07 pm

Very well said. The parents of the disabled child were rude to say the least.This is not the child's fault its the parents fault. There is not much the manager of the restaurant can say, and there is nothing the patron can say, except may I change my table, or just get up and leave and go to another restaurant.

We were having a Sunday breakfast at a local restaurant a few weeks ago. We were seated next to a table of 2 adults and 4 children. Two of the children behaved reasonably, the third was up and down constantly, the fourth was a total brat. He stood on his chair and screamed at the top of his lungs. The father said nothing the mother was preoccupied with the other three. After about 15 minutes I called our waitress over and said in a loud voice "may we move to another table I can't take this kid any longer. The father looked at me and grinned. A table on the other side also asked to be moved. I don't know if this kid had a problem or was just a brat, but the father and mother were idiots.

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Ruth October 9, 2015 at 4:37 am

Very disappointed in this site. At first I thought it would be a place where people can say hate-able controversial things and get some support for the way they are feeling. If we are honest what is posted is very common. But apparently we are all self righteous and wand the poster to bury his feelings instead of helping him through them. I shan't be returning to this kill joy of a site.

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Catherine April 17, 2016 at 12:17 am

Can't say I blame the poster for retracting the apology, if in fact it was he who did. Speaking as the grandmother of an autistic child, ime pouring vitriol on someone who admits to finding the apparently inexplicable meltdowns of a disabled child/adult unsettling is highly unlikely to cause them to reconsider their opinion: it merely makes us look as if we expect others to tolerate any kind of behavior a disabled child cares to exhibit. I think we are entitled to ask at least an attempt to understand the limitations a disability may put on a child's ability to deal deftly with social interactions or in social situations — but infantilizing the disabled does them no favor: like it or not, they have to live in the world, and negotiating it will involve limits on their behavior, just as it does anyone else.

Our grandson has good days and bad days: if an activity seems more than he can handle on a particular day, we reschedule or one of us stays with him while the other takes the other children out. We don't take him to adult venues at all, and when we take him to family venues, If he starts to have a meltdown and is unable to calm himself, we leave or one of us leaves with him while the other remains with the other children. No, it is not always easy, and yes, it does sometimes mean that we don't get to do things together, but it also allows him to be removed from situations that may be stressing him for reasons he can't articulate.

I wish every other parent with a child who isn't ready to behave in public would do the same — and I'm not talking about just the parents of disabled children: I've seen some (apparently, at least) non-disabled children who could give my grandson a run for his money, and a few who could give him lessons. To be fair, most of the time I suspect that the problem isn't the children — disabled or otherwise — but the parents who can't be bothered to set limits on their behaviour or put themselves to the trouble of taking a child out for a brief interval to allow them to regain control/confirm that this is an activity best postponed to a later date. Sometimes what a child is trying to say is "I can't deal with this right now", and when that's the case, success is more likely if the activity is postponed to a time when they can handle it.

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Mel November 2, 2016 at 3:41 pm

Late teens is all I had to read. Teenagers act worse in restaurants than 3 year olds. I sincerely doubt that the "damaged" child you are speaking about ruined anyone else's dinner. You could've easily asked for another seat or left the restaurant as well, but thought insulting a disabled child and his parents was a better route? I would rather have dealt with the kid in the wheelchair than you.

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Ace November 27, 2016 at 1:27 pm

I understand that a little kid or a disabled person might act loud and disruptive, BUT the way the OP "dealt" with it was completely immature. Why not go up to the host stand and politely ask to be seated elsewhere? As for the family of the disabled person, they were probably already feeling really uncomfortable but just wanted to enjoy their meals and definitely didn't need any icy cold stares from anyone.

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