Separate Checks

September 18, 2009

in Diner Stories

Oh how I love getting to work right before the dinner rush comes. Pick up a few tables from lazy servers who stroll in 15 to 20 minutes late coffee in hand. I myself enjoy stealing those tables and picking up the extra 50 to 60 bucks. But of course not on this day.

I had a five two top table section, which is great money on a Friday night. The rush had passed and my section was full. Generally one or two people eating dinner and having a drink before going to their final destination for the night. Not the best tips but good enough to be first cut.

Two disabled gentlemen sat at my table and presented their coupons and discount card before they even ordered their drinks. I brought them back the waters with extra lemon (AKA Lemonade) and asked if they needed more time. Indeed they did. I helped guide them through our massive three page menu and pointed out our pasta entrees. One gentleman inquired if we had chicken parm, which we do and there’s a giant picture of it at the top of the page. I brought them the side salad which they split and complained about because it was not very big for two people. I tried to explain, but my reasoning fell upon deaf ears (no pun intended but they did both have hearing aids). When their food arrived they asked for freshly grated cheese; I told the gentlemen that we do not carry that and they must have us confused with another restaurant. He insisted that he have fresh cheese for his meal and I retired to the kitchen to get him some FRESH cheese from the line.

The meal itself did not have any hiccups until the end. They could not use both their coupons and a rewards card. Once I ran the discounts and returned the check I was asked a question that pushed me to the point of almost no return. The man who could not find a giant picture of chicken parm on a three page menu turned to me and asked, “Seeeeperate check.” I, as most other servers, become enraged when asked this question. I decided to do it for them anyways because the faster they got done the quicker they’re out of my section. I dropped the check and asked if they needed me to run a card for them; of course they did. As I looked down at the card, as I always do, I broke out into laughter that stopped all the tables near me. The card read “Autism Speaks.” My only response was to muffle my laughter and say, “No it doesn’t…”

From time to time the gentlemen walk in and sit at the same table. I no longer take them but I do always run their meals and whisper “seeeeperate checks” as I drop that lovely chicken parm.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Kad December 17, 2009 at 1:15 am

I told the gentlemen that we do not carry that and they must have us confused with another restaurant. He insisted that he have fresh cheese for his meal and I retired to the kitchen to get him some FRESH cheese from the line.

FYI, every restaurant has cheese. And it's easy to add a charge for 'other' on most menu systems. You suck at waiting on tables if the people don't follow your playbook.

Making fun of autism? That just makes you a low class douchebag. Have fun with your life. Maybe you will get promoted to head dishwasher one day with customer service skills like those you described.


Cheryl January 3, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I pray that you never have children let alone a child with Autism or some other sort of disability. Douche face


luxpink January 7, 2010 at 12:26 pm

the story was not funny. and you are a pompous asshole. i cannot wait until you are an old fart and you get treated like shit by some douchebag child like yourself. learn to respect the elderly, as you will be in that age group one day yourself.



zander June 16, 2010 at 12:40 pm

K, I know I'm being a dick, but I found this story hilarious. Well told. Yeah, ok, making fun of disabled people is not cool, but you sound like a server I'd really enjoy.

Back to everyone telling you they hope you have 6523 miscarriages for making fun of autism.


Amber May 12, 2016 at 12:36 pm

OP, you are the biggest douche ever. First, separate checks should never be looked upon so disdainfully, people are allowed to pay for themselves, also sounds like this specific scenario was a autistic person and their service companion, I know people in various companion care roles, and the service companion is required to cover their own costs for things like meals out.

Also, water and lemon is not lemonade, unless they requested so many lemon slices to actually make a lemonade, which a couple extra lemon slices is not going to do then getting all huffy and pissy that some people simply enjoy lemon water is stupid.

Customer would like to get some fresh parm on their meal, if you sell pasta you should have some form of parm to add to the pasta dishes, also you clearly have parm if you sell chicken parm, so grab an extra side of parm from the kitchen and simply charge for it. In other words, do your damn job.

You are a poor excuse for a human, putting down someone with autism like that.


Mel November 2, 2016 at 3:33 pm

Wow, you are the worst person!! You don't need to be around people, letting serve them. You were biased against them for being "disabled" from the start. These poor gentlemen were just trying to get a good meal and instead are completely humiliated by some arrogant POS. Karma will get you though, when you're in your 80s and the only people who acknowledge you are the nursing home workers who avoid you other than bringing your meds and meals.


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