Dining With A Dope

January 17, 2008

in Diner Stories

Back in the 70s my college roommate (whom I’ll call “Clark”) and I decided to eat at a nationally-known seafood restaurant. I had only known him for a few days, but he seemed like a decent enough fellow. After perusing our menus, the waitress came over to take our order. After giving her my order, she then asked Clark for his. I looked over at Clark and noticed that he had a dazed expression, and that a stream of drool was coming out of his mouth. The waitress and I looked in astonishment as the drool slowly extended from his lip to his lap where it finally broke off. Clark attempted to give his order, but his speech was too slurred to understand what he was saying. I was dumbfounded how Clark’s behavior could have been transformed so quickly. The waitress gave me a dirty look and said she’d come back in a few minutes.

I told Clark that I didn’t know what the was on, but that if he didn’t sober up immediately I’d drive off without him. I walked away from the table and went to the restroom. I returned to the dining room just in time to see Clark stumble on top of someone’s table, spilling food and drink. The poor diners quickly stood up shouting, “Oh, my God!” The manager, seeing what happened, told someone to call the police. I briskly walked to my car and drove away.

About an hour later Clark came stumbling into our apartment, followed by a woman. She said she was a waitress in the restaurant who happened to know Clark, and that she told the manager she’d drive him home and not to call the police. I found out later that Clark enjoyed taking Quaaludes, including at inopportune times. I never ate at a restaurant with him again, but unfortunately was stuck having him as a roommate for a long time.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

DSH April 2, 2009 at 11:34 am

Gee, good thing this guy didn't happen to go into a diabetic coma or anything. Your concern before you knew what was going on is overwhelming.


Rob April 2, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Drooling huh?

A small seizure could have been happening.

I'm glad you weren't embarrassed or anything. God forbid!


RK April 2, 2009 at 3:37 pm

You'd be a terrible friend to an epileptic. Oh, wait, I mean to anyone who might have trouble at any time.


SkippyMom September 28, 2009 at 9:16 am

I was sitting in a booth with my two kids and husband enjoying our pre dinner drinks when my husband passed out and slipped to the floor.

Although Clark was a friend and this was my husband I never ONCE thought something was hinky – I thought he was having a heart attack.

The restaurant and fellow patrons were wonderful and he was fine….but seriously dude?

So what if it was qualudes? He could've OD'd or gone into to convulsions and you let the waitress drive him home? You should've driven him to the hospital.

Shame on you.


Ace November 29, 2016 at 3:28 am

Well, Clark was probably one of those people who is constantly high or ODing on something, maybe his friend simply had enough of the BS.


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