Liquid Diet

May 10, 2009

in Server Stories

There is a guy who has been a friend of mine for four years, but recently it has started to grow into something more. We always meet for “drinks” but usually end up getting dinner too because we don’t want the date to end. This night was no different. We arrived at a local, well-respected restaurant prepared to drink, eat and be merry. We started with him testing the local brew, and I drinking wine. The waitress was really nice… at first. She checked on us, dutifully we thought, until we realized she was checking on us every 2-3 minutes.

It was annoying, but we tried to ignore it. We couldn’t, however, when she started suggesting appetizers we should try. So we tried one. Then she came back to refill our drinks and asked if we wanted entrees. We hadn’t had a chance to look at the menus yet. You know those kinds of dates – you just talk and lose yourselves in the moment.

This constant interruption asking us if we wanted to order dinner happened several more times. She came back again and again and again frequently, with new and interesting comments each time that ranged from suggesting meals to asking us if she was interrupting our “liquid diet.” UM, she was going to get a good tip until she made THAT comment. We were on drink #2 – which hardly constitutes a liquid diet in my opinion.

We pressed on. We were trying to have fun, talk, relax, flirt and generally HAVE A NICE DATE. Eventually, she told us her shift had been over for an hour, she had been waiting for us to leave and if we weren’t ready to leave now, could she cash us out so she was sure to get the tip? (As opposed to transferring us to another waitress, because then our waitress wouldn’t get tipped.) We chose to cash out and be transferred after the fact.

At this point, I’m livid and my date is stunned and sincerely questioning why this woman is hounding us. So my date pays. He tips her (against my pleas to leave her nothing), and we get a new waitress.

This waitress is the exact opposite when it comes to attentiveness. She came by once and I had to practically jump out of my seat to grab her as she swung by, but was walking away before we could order more drinks. No, we are not alcoholics – at this point, it was only our third drink each – as we stopped guzzling to down one of the recommended appetizers earlier. Remember? Ha-ha. So she gets us each a drink, then whizzes by again and drops our check off and says, in a fake-happy voice, “I’ll take this when you’re ready. Have a great night.”

WTF? What kind of lame-ass, ridiculous, totally unprofessional service is that? We completely intended to order dinner when we sat down, but that plan was quickly tossed out after we were harassed relentlessly and then ignored and essentially kicked out.

What happened to a good old fashioned romantic dinner for two with few interruptions and actual time to read the menu before the waitress starts hounding? Oh well. The night ended back at my place, sans the annoying waitress!

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Jess May 11, 2009 at 9:23 am

"Dinner for two" usually means that you actually order dinner, not that you meet up for drinks in a restaurant during peak hours and maybe decide to eventually get some food. You had 3 drinks and an appetizer, without making any attempt to look at the menu, while the waitress's shift had been over for more than an hour? No wonder the waitresses were so upset – you were costing them money! If you want to meet up for drinks, sit at the bar.


Ash May 11, 2009 at 9:33 pm

You were in the wrong here, unless you are were seated at the bar or in a a cocktail/wine bar that serves food.

It seriously takes you an hour to consume drinks and you still haven't ordered? You are a nightmare customer. You are taking up seating space for her, thus she is loosing out on money.

Your first waitress sounds like a saint for being pleasant for over an hour, gently trying to nudge you towards ordering with humor, and yet you still did not get it.

The reason your second waitress was never available was because you were the token annoying table of the night. You obviously were going to linger, so why should she waste her time on you (like her co-worker had so kindly done) when she has actual paying tables who understand the concept of timed dinner?

If you wait tables long enough, you will understand why people who linger (aka campers) are so bad. They take up the table forever, rarely ring up a high bill, and generally leave 10% with compensation for the waitresses lost tips that she could have earned if you hadn't stayed so long at the table.

If this was a lounge however, then you were in the right. But in your average restaurant your behavior was not appropriate. If you want to linger, tell your waitress this form the very beginning, order your first drink and meal, and then linger after the meal. This gives her the opportunity to cash out and leave. Who wants to wait around for an hour after work to fill up drink with no actual order to be taken?

If you refuse to order at the beginning of your meal, then sit at the bar so you can chat, then once done be asked to be moved to a table.


Hugh May 13, 2009 at 2:48 am

I agree with the previous posters. While you considered a leisurely "dinner for two" taking hours to be acceptable, to the wait staff you are taking up a table which could have been turned over and making them and the restaurant money. I think you wer ein the worng here, and shouldmaybe take the hint next time. When you are aksed many times to order…maybe you should.


Robin May 13, 2009 at 4:15 pm

You know, when you ended your story with "The night ended back at my place, …!" I clicked here to be able to write, gee, I hope you at least got some that night, but after reading the replies from Hugh, Ash, and Jess, I changed my mind. I hadn't considered their take on the story, nor, apparently, did you. They are right, and I hope you never get any again. And I hope that when you die, you are reincarnated as…a cocktail waitress.


kurt May 18, 2009 at 8:54 am

why does nearly everyone that posts a comment trys to trash on the person they are commenting on? It keeps happoning. Give these people a breack and stop blaming tthem instead of the person hey are complaining about.


kurt May 18, 2009 at 8:54 am

**** that was long.


Anonymous July 6, 2009 at 12:28 am

You go to a restaurant to have dinner. The server works there to make tips, AKA pay rent. If you don't want to have dinner, compensate. Otherwise go to a bar for $2 PBR nights


maybaby7777 September 28, 2009 at 2:05 pm

"Fake happy voice"? What kind of voice did your highness want?


PickleLicker January 21, 2010 at 2:40 pm

YOU are the asshole customer every server hates.


askmeplz March 24, 2010 at 10:26 pm

Well, if you wanna do that, just go to a place where there less diners.

are there any affiliates from who can provide me with an invite ?


Sympathy Given December 7, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Uh hello the WAITRESS from HELL didn't have to stay an hour past her time she CHOOSE to HARASS them. It does NOT take an hour to drink TWO DRINKS and an apetizer so that HELLION was grumpy she couldn't leave probably until the next waitress came in. She only deserved MAYBE .05 cent tip if that. I would've given her a tip, "STOP BEGGING AND YOU'D GET BETTER CUSTOMERS." She choose to stay and harrass them o.p should've reported both their behaviors to the manager because trust me if it was a problem they would've reported them.


ORLYMuch January 4, 2011 at 10:29 am


I doubt you have ever worked in any form of service industry from your post. My roomate works at a resturant and there are places that won't allow you to leave until your customers cash out. Also it's not exceptable to sit for over an hour like that taking up space if you aren't going to order. Also the poster had stated that they would normally have drinks and then eat latter so a well-respected restaurant isn't a good idea, rather a resturant and bar where they can sit in the bar area with tables would have been a better choice where drinking and socalizing are exspected.

Also because she was so lost in the moment she probally didn't estimate correctly how offten or the duration between times when the waitress contacted her. The waitress was doing her job by checking on them and being polite, however eventually everyone's good humor runs out when you are tired and ready to go home. Also from your post I can tell that you are an impatient person and probally don't believe that people who work service industry deserve due consideration because it's thier job, however I will remind you that everyone is deserving of respect.


Sympathy Given January 7, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Uh get over yourself we're not talking about YOVILLE or any other fantasy games you jack off to but RL. Unless you are in a restaurant with a maitre d' or manager present Yeah the waiter/ress can cash out. It's called the dumbnut waiter/ress was trying to cry wolf because they couldn't pull overtime. Just sign the thing over to another server and it's taken care of. I hope I didn't use too many big words for your little brain but you can look them up if I did.


Monica R. May 2, 2016 at 5:27 pm

I completely agree with most of the posts, that O.P. was in the wrong and should have started their evening at the bar and then moved on to the dining room. However I do take exception if the waitress truly did say she was sticking around to "collect her tip". Many restaurants you cannot leave with open checks but tips are routinely wrapped up and saved for servers to be picked up at their next shift. But she should have never mentioned a tip in any way shape or form in any conversation with a customer.


Amber May 12, 2016 at 5:32 pm

You sat there not ordering your meals for a full hour? And the waitress was the rude one? No restaurants are not the place to make goo-goo eyes and literally eye-fuck each other, nor is it the place to make out and or just hang out. A restaurant is for eating, you want to drink go to a bar, you want to flirt go home and do so, you get yourselves seated in a restaurant to eat, so you do not take over an hour to order then bitch about the server.


Mel November 2, 2016 at 2:53 pm

Your date paid because he understood that making a server wait on you for HOURS before you even think about ordering food is just plain rude. I wonder if anyone goes into your job and prevents you from making money for hours?!? My guess is no. So maybe you shouldn't deprive a server from making money AND leaving at the end of her shift? You're no better than the server is, no matter what you think in your tiny brain.


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